Your first marathon is like your first colonoscopy ...

Doctors eagerly awaiting patients
(Courtesy TipsTimes @ Flickr)

Searching the Internet for relevant material in preparation for this post, the timelapserunner stumbled onto a truly insightful article at Why I Suck at Running. The author - a kindred spirit who stumbles along at a 12 minute per mile pace - suggests that one would never want to know too much what one's first marathon experience will be like BEFORE the race, just like you really don't want to know too much about that first colonoscopy. Why I Suck at Running warns that knowing too much about what either experience will entail would "reinforce your hunch that nobody in their right mind would willingly put themselves in such a situation ... (and) if you really knew what was going to happen ... you'd never do it."

The admonition set forth in that article rings in the ears of the timelapserunner today. Not only was this morning's run preparation for his first marathon, but the whole day today will be spend in preparation for his first ... ahem ... colonoscopy. To those of you who have been there and done that, you remember prep day with a fondness that lingers still, I'm sure. First, you don't get to eat. Well, at least not food. And in Louisiana, that is tantamount to cruel and unusual punishment. Secondly, you get to partake of that delicious never-ending cocktail. Not once, but twice. OK. I'm sorry. I won't speak of it anymore.

"East and West Shaking Hands ..."
by Andrew Russell
(Courtesy NPS)

Oh, did I tell you that during the same pleasant visit we're also slated for an upper GI endoscopy? For you non-medical types like me, that an approach from the opposite side of the plantation to look at the front part of your acreage. (Don't you just love euphemisms?) This reward - the upper GI endoscopy - is a result of irrational honesty during my preparatory doctor's visit. Seems I said too much about some issue I have from time to time with swallowing. So you've been warned now. Answer too many questions truthfully and you'll get special treatment.

I figure that this rare collusion will elicit celebration much like that at Promontory Point, when the last spike was driven to connect the two sections of the first transcontinental railroad. The "lower GI" will meet up with the "upper GI" and all those in scrubs will celebrate with glasses of champagne. Fortunately, yours truly will be completely out of it during the festivities. I'll let you know in a later post how things came out, so-to-speak.

TODAY'S WORKOUT: Given that tomorrow's workout will NOT happen, we shifted the schedule for Week 3 just a tad and did Tuesday's workout today on Monday. Wednesday, we'll likely resume our normal schedule with the 3-mile walk around the block. The numbers for today: A nominal four miles around the lakes at an average pace of 11:50 per mile (planned for 11:44), using run/walk intervals of 2:05/1:00, with the run pace nominally at 10:24 per mile. No significant muscle or other problems to report ... just the usual mild tweaking from those inflexible legs of mine.